RedXCradily: GoWithTheFlowShipping
by Galefire
Summary: The time has finally come. Red is finally going to do the thing he's been meaning to do his entire life: confess his love to the one most special to him. However, his 'partner' may not be exactly who you expect... Red/Cradily. Shipping parody.


**Ooh... Lordy lord. What fanfiction has done to me... I can't even begin to describe... **

**Hello people and stuff... Umm... Yeah, this is exactly what you think it is. **

**Note: Well, it's around Christmas time, so I thought: eh, why not make some Christmas specials? (Even though I shouldn't even celebrate the holiday in the first place, but it's how I was raised so just go with it.) And yes, you are correct. This has nothing to do with Christmas, however, it's not often I write one-shots, and I NEVER write romance, so this is really more of some kind gift to those who are following me. Expect more. **

**Gift #1: RedXCradily: GoWithTheFlowShipping. **

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Red stood outside of the apartment, sweat gathering on his forehead, his heart pounding heavily in his chest. He fiddled nervously with the purple coloured container in his hands, biting his lip. It wasn't often Red, the best trainer EVER, got anxious. Heck, after all he had been through, most things that could cause this kind of reaction seemed small in comparison. However , today the case was a little different.

Scratch that, a LOT different.

Red cast a glance down at his Iggybuff watch (his secret, NOBODY must know!)

11:30.

Dammit.

That only gave him thirty minutes to gather his courage.

'Is that enough?" Red wondered, tilting his head up to face the ceiling. 'I mean, this IS a huge decision. What if she says no? What if she hates me so much she starts throwing pie at me?! What if I'm allergic to pie?! WHAT IF SHE SAYS NO?!'

He placed a hand on the wall to steady himself, shaking his head to clear all those bad thoughts.

'Bad brain!" He scolded silently. 'No more blueberries for you! Calm down Red... Calm down... Think of the Lavender town theme!"

The familier eerie sound of the song filled his minds ear. Red closed his eyes, hoping for peaceful visuals. However, what he got was quite the opposite.

A dying Marowack... A Cubone desperately reaching out to it's mother; one it would never see again... Dark figures, laughing, kicking the poor creature... Blood stained the walls... A young girl with beady black eyes, stood, shaking her head.

"Believers... Non-believers... Only fate seperates us..." She muttered coldly.

Red snapped his eyes open, blood trickling from the corners.

"Dammit that didn't help!" He exclaimed. "Now I look even more emo then normal!"

"And that's saying something!" A picture on the wall, one of a orange haired girl and a drunk looking Psyduck, laughed.

"Hey, shut up! You don't know me!" Red snapped, jabbing it with his finger.

The carpet joined it. "It's true! You look more emo then Ebony D'arkness something something whatever! Shrimp is for the barby mahn!"

The champion narrowed his eyes, when a sudden realization hit him.

HE DID look awfully emo. What didn't help is the fact that he had thrown himself off mount Silver when Gold beat him in a battle.

He was only practicing his sky diving skills, honestly!

But 'why' didn't make any different. Was it his hat that had caused this?

He took it off his hat and inspected it.

Yep. Definetly the hat.

"You guys should have children," The lamp suggested. "I've been getting hungry lately!"

The champion gave it a glance. "Uh, what?"

The ceiling perked up. "Do you have any anime?"

"...Noooo?"

"Of course you don't," It snorted. "Your counterpart gets all the screen-time 'cause everyone likes him better!"

"...Now that's just cruel." Red blinked.

Suddenly, his hand lifted up and slapped his head, hard.

"Stay focused! You've got a girl in there!" It snapped.

The champion smiled at the appendage, grateful. "Thanks..."

"Hey!" His watch spoke. "You've got to go, NOW! It's your last chance, or she might marry that 'Chad' guy! What a dick!"

"Not Chad!" The lamp looked horrified.

Murmers spread across the room.

"Chad? Does he throw shrimp on the barby, mahn?"

"Can I eat him?"

"I sure hope he has manga! I need PORN!"

"Everyone shut up!" The carpet snapped. "Red's not going to fail!"

"Uhh... We didn't say he would." The picture blinked.

Red shook his head. "Don't worry guys, I got this!"

"Whee! Go Red! Give her the good Kangaroo punch to the koala!"

"Anime, Red! It TINGLES!"

"Eat her eat her eat her eat her-"

"-No thanks."

"D'aww..." The lamp sighed.

Giving them one last thankful glance, the trainer opened the door and stepped inside. It was that moment he felt all the bravery he had gained fade.

The room was a beautiful shade of pink, the paint on the walls so bright it could have been fresh. Fluffy purple pillows covered a dark maroon bed, almost making the champion want to pass out on them right then and there. Well-organized shelves of assorted goods covered one side of the room, paintings the other.

However, despite all the gorgeous attractions the room had to offer, what stood in the middle made everything dull in comparison. Bright, bubblegum coloured frills surrounded her neck, stunning yellow eyes glowed in a dark abyss that made up her wondrous face, green of the most glorious shade covered her body: a Cradily.

Red felt his legs turn to jelly. Heart in mouth, he stumbled into the room, sweating like crazy.

"C-Candy?" He stuttered, adjusting his hat back into his head and smoothing out his hair.

The Pokemon turned her, picturesque eyes wide with heartfelt curiosity. The pink appendages on her neck rustled in such a wonderful, carefree way, that it made Red melt on the inside.

The champion swallowed, walking closer to Candy the Cradily to the best of his ability. His lungs worked overdrive, his brain was all over the place.

He had to stay CALM.

"Candy," He repeated, voice regaining some strength.

He had her full attention now. Candy made a small yet beautiful sound, signaling her response.

The champion swallowed the growing lump in his throat. There was no time for hesitation.

Mind set, he got down on one knee, trying to keep from shaking.

Her eyes widened. Could it be...?

Pale with his ever-growing fear, Red lifted his left hand, the one he had behind his back, and showed her the case.

Candy gasped in complete surprise. No way!

His thumb fiddled around for the button that was used to open it. Feeling the familer coolness beneath his thumb, he pushed down on it.

The pulchritudinous case flipped open, revealing its warm velvet inside, soft and secure. Upon the lovely material, sat the most outstanding ring the world has ever seen: the diamond was bright, large and sparkly, reflecting a broken rainbow across the room as it caught the faint light that spewed from the open window, the gold was, as Joey would say, in top-percentage.

The Cradily couldn't hide her shock. She doubled backwards, shining yellow orbs as large as dinner plates. Her mouth hung open at a loss for... Uh... Sounds.

Red looked up, tears running down his cheeks. His lips parted in a weak smile.

"Candy..." He whispered lovingly. "I love you. I've loved you for years. I love you do much that I never want to be apart! So please," The champion bowed his head. "Would you... Marry me?"

Candy let out a joyous noise and leaped at Red, burying her face into his shoulder, sobbing happily.

The trainer grinned contently; he had done it. All it had took was a little courage. And because he had found it, he was free to spend the rest of his life with the one he truly loved. Wrapping his arms around her, he exclaimed the only thing he felt fitting.

"WE'RE GOING TO LOS VEGAS FOR OUR HONEY MOON, BABY!"

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Gold covered his mouth, trying to keep himself from bursting out laughing as he video-taped the scene.

"I'm so blogging about this later," He smirked, zooming in.

Emerald, his partner in crime, was smiling evily as well.

"Looks like operation "put-vodka-in-Red's-milk-then-trick-him-into-marrying-a-Cradily" was a success! I really need to revise that name..." He muttered.

"Yeah, about that," Gold spoke up, setting down the camera on the windowsill and giving him a look. "Why do you have a room with a Cradily in it in your house?"

"..."

"What in the name of Smeargul do you think you two are doing?" A voice snapped from behind them.

The two Dexholders froze in shock, dread scratching at their hearts. They turned their heads slowly around to see a dark-blue haired girl, her light coloured eyes narrowed in anger, and a clipboard in one arm.

Crystal.

"Uh..." Gold exchanged an awkward glance with Emerald. "...Mowing the cat?"

Crystal sighed, holding out her arm. "Give it."

The breeder grumbled under his breath, reluctantly grabbing the camera and handing it to her, not after spitting on it.

"Ass..." She muttered, clicking some of the buttons.

For a few moments, there was nothing but silence and the minute sound of pressing buttons. Finally, Crystal clicked one last button and the newest recorded video. Her mouth pulled down in a thoughtful frown as she watched the recording.

Emerald lifted his tiny hand to his face. "We're dead."

"I hear ya' sister." Gold nodded.

"Shut up."

As the sounds of the camera finally faded, Crystal snapped the screen closed, turning around and slowly walking away.

Gold got up and ran after her, expression cross. "And what are YOU doing?!"

"The only thing there is to do," She answered turning around to face him. The two boys were shocked to see she was smiling. "Post this to YouTube."


End file.
